at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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