and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
