fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
