Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
