I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
