I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
