She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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