Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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