Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
