I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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