is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also, beer. Big fan.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
