Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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