I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't deserve a penis
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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