I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
