The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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