O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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