he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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