It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
