But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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