she woke up with a sticky ear
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
