You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
and she was petting her beer can
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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