What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
