i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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