I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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