stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
