Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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