Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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