I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
