doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
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