It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
40s are totally the cure
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
