The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
