this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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