If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
