week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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