Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize