I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
