hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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