Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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