Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
