so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
