Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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