there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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