Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
