I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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