We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Randomize
