i don't like sucking hair
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize