Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
