He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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