none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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