how can u be prego again
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Sober January is a disaster.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
