Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My dick has a subreddit
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
