I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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