I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
