Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
