Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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