And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize