yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
