then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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