the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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