One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize