oh god the rape fog is back!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
