hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
