when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
