After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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