So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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