Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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