Kiss
Puke
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
