Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
