Me. At least after what I've been through.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize