When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don't think brook has ever known best
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
