Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
