I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
